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SPIDIR newsletter 58

Winter 2002/Spring 2003 Issue 58 (Contents)

AWAY WITH SPIRITUAL DIRECTORS!

by John Hawkins

I guess I may not be alone in thinking that within the modern spiritual direction movement there is a linguistic contradiction that hinders clear thinking. The proposed formal constitution for SPIDIR may present a timely opportunity to grasp this particular nettle. Put simply the problem is this: direction is a three-way relationship, involving the Holy Spirit. As Gordon Jeff succinctly puts it: "It cannot be said too often and too firmly that the only true director is the Holy Spirit" (Spiritual Direction for Every Christian, SPCK 1987). So to appropriate the title for oneself is both presumptuous and misleading.

There are of course other objections to the term spiritual director. It perpetuates the 'elitist' and authoritarian overtones that SPIDIR has been at pains to dispel since its foundation. It gives rise to the rather potty notion of non-directive direction! And it has brought about the neologism of 'directee', a demeaning term that I have yet to find in any dictionary, or, so far, in my reading of Francis de Sales or Evelyn Underhill, although I confess this is far from exhaustive! (They, I imagine, would have been more inclined to refer to 'Penitents'; well, this term would hardly be popular these days, would it?). A director/directee relationship suggests that of master and servant, whereas, if anything, the boot should be on the other foot, as we are offering a supportive service, rather than telling others how to think or what to do.

At my first meeting with a new client (and I see nothing amiss in using that term), I usually express the hope that our relationship, if it develops, will be a reciprocal one, both parties being open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. A lighted candle acts as a reminder of this. I also offer coffee and a biscuit as a literal hint of companionship, the mutual 'breaking of bread'. As the relationship grows, I invariably find I am learning as much from my companion as he or she from me.

To my mind the term 'spiritual companion' is to be preferred to 'spiritual friend', or 'soul friend'. As in the case of someone employed as a paid 'companion', the service we offer calls for trust, sensitivity and competence, and while there are many who can be perceived as having appropriate natural gifts, the right kind of training - such as that offered by SPIDIR - is invaluable if these are to be developed to the full.

So, can we not call ourselves spiritual companions? As I see it, this would entail a slight but significant change of wording in the listed aim and objectives of the movement, which could be altered to read:

• 'to promote spiritual growth under the Direction of the Holy Spirit'
• 'to provide training in spiritual companionship',
• 'to refer people to trained spiritual companions'.

I rest my case!

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