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SPIDIR newsletter 60

Autumn 2003 Issue 60 (Contents)

COPING WITH LIFE'S TRANSITIONS . . .

Pam Lee (with Bernard Kilroy)

In 1998 I attended the 3 year Ignatian Spirituality Course on 'The Spiritual Exercises and Art of Spiritual Direction' in London, where I met Bernard Kilroy. I returned as an Assistant to help teach on the first year of this Course, and have developed my experience as a spiritual director and also worked on Open Door Retreats and Weeks of Guided Prayer. Bernard and I are now co-leaders on weekend retreats called Coping with Life's Transitions . . . and we are planning a Holy Week Sadhana for 2004 at Park Place Pastoral Centre near Fareham. The Sisters at Park Place are Indian Franciscans and the retreat will have an Indian Christian Spirituality flavour. Here is an account which will give you some idea of what a Transitions retreat is all about.

Most of the sessions start with everyone in a circle reflecting on the theme of a semi-abstract 'still life' of coloured silks and other objects displayed in the centre on the floor. Then the group breaks up, for each to find a quiet corner to make patterns with pastel chalks, or finger paint, or mould clay, or select a 'soul card' abstract painting which triggers associations, or perhaps to talk one-to-one with Pam or Bernard. Later, everyone will end the session coming together again to share the process (only not the content) ñ if they want to. There is one rule: to listen without interrupting or commenting, let alone trying to help! Each day begins and ends with a time of meditation and music for those who wish to join in.

On Sunday, when they leave after lunch, they have been together for less than 48 hours but the journey each has made has been long and deep. The supportive atmosphere means that each person can probe his or her own experience a little bit beyond the comfort zone. Using symbols and metaphors and pictures can be more helpful than head-on reason and logic. And they are encouraged to bring walking shoes, or to take advantage of the massage from a qualified aromatherapist which is available, if it all gets too much.

The retreats are Bernard's invention combining his Ignatian training with his experience in community work and personal development for managers, from which he has now retired. Co-facilitator Pam, is the silks enthusiast when she's not listening with that spiritual director's ear. The retreats are taking place each year at various venues: first at Douai Abbey, near Reading, in an annexe to a live monastery with real monks (though they are busy elsewhere); and secondly, at The Priory of Our Lady at Sayers Common, West Sussex (2002), and St Michael's Convent, Ham Common, Kingston upon Thames (2004). But the weekends say quite explicitly 'open to those of any faith or none'.

Bernard and Pam are very happy to share their expertise. They believe that their approach and techniques could be used more widely so that many more people could benefit. Hence they would be happy to encourage a facilitator to take part to 'learn the ropes'.

For details: www.SOULutions.co.uk/InscapeRetreats or ring Bernard on 01252 843133, or Pam on 01273 596977.

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