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SPIDIR newsletter 65 |
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Newsletter
main page Contact the Newsletter Editor Contents of Issue 65 Spring/Summer 2005
Notes by Keith Holt on a refreshment day for spiritual directors led by Stephen Lyon. At the ‘refreshment day’ at St. Mary’s, Balham, on 7th March 2005 led by Stephen Lyon, there was plenty of challenge and participation. Our opening worship led us to consider what personal experience might have led Charlotte Elliott to write the words of the hymn "Just as I am" in the late eighteenth century. We were next invited to think of any particular period or event that we might personally describe as a "dark night of the soul". We reflected on what our relationship with God felt at that time, and shared some of our descriptions of it. Stephen acknowledged that this exercise might be painful, but also that God can be experienced both in going out to the light and, like Moses, entering the darkness of the cloud. Stephen offered three "pictures" to help us explore what we each might mean by the dark side of God. The first of these originated in space travel, and was called "the dark side of the moon". Clearly humans were unable to see what the other side of the moon was really like until they were able to leave their safe earth-bound environment, take enormous risks, and look from a new angle. The struggle for an adequate view of God can be seen being worked out in the New Testament, where both the divinity and the humanity of Jesus are at issue. We looked at the meeting between Jesus and the Samaritan woman (John 4 v 7ff) and at the Gethsemane scene (Mark 14 v 33-42). In the first we see, perhaps, the need for Jesus to learn from the viewpoint of a stranger. (The lesson also applies of course to ourselves.) In the second we find the disciples unable to cope with the Jesus who is agitated, distressed, and apprehensive. The result is they "switch-off’ and fall asleep! St. Paul writes (2 Cor 4 v 6) of the glory of God in the face of Jesus. But which face of Jesus is a challenging question. What can our personal faith allow us to accept, or see? Perhaps a piece of sculpture, or a painful film like "Hotel Rwanda", can begin to take us to parts of God we have not recognised before? The second picture was taken from family life, specifically from small childrens’ fear of the darkness of night, in which they may imagine all sorts of nasty things. If we adults find ourselves unexpectedly without any lighting, even in otherwise familiar surroundings, we stumble and lose our way. It is not that reality has changed but that our perception has been altered. The Bible, including the Psalms and the book Job, help illustrate how our view of God can change according to our circumstances. All too often the familiar becomes frightening. We then need new ways to see God in the changed situation. Being in the dark can help us appreciate things we never "saw" before. We may find it hard to imagine that such ideas and insights could ever happen to us! In short it is useful to remember the provisionality of aspects of beliefs we hold today. Our third picture was the shadow side of ourselves. This is probably the most difficult to handle, as spiritual direction folk know. Our "protective screens" are useful things, but disguise our real selves. If we are not in touch with the things of our unconscious we may project them onto others, and our perception of God may be more influenced by these elements than we realise. The difficulties that Jesus ran into with those in authority were often related to their fears. These included the fear of the supportive crowd, the loss of control, and of what might happen because of Jesus’ powerful and unusual teaching. We may be a bit like those authorities, keeping our dark sides under control by our particular theology! This can lead us to duck questions about other possible ways of seeing God. In short our own darkness affects the way we are prepared to try to understand God. It is a huge task for us to try to remain open, honest, and ready to reconsider some of the more comfortable pictures we have of God. The challenge can be more difficult for members of institutions, and for some personality types! It certainly calls for courage. Each of us is on a journey towards maturity, or fullness, holding on to what we know but with a sense of provisionality. T.S. Eliot’s "Little Gidding" provides a phrase to continue to reflect upon:
During the afternoon, in groups, we considered the three "pictures" from two viewpoints: how they may have affected the way we each see God, and where they may have begun to suggest ways in which our ministry of spiritual direction might be challenged, supported, or affirmed. Or, in other words, what came out of the morning for each of us, and what we felt we could take into our spiritual direction work. Many interesting comments and thoughts were shared in the feed-back session. For instance it was observed that the dark side of God could mean for some God’s mysteriousness. Christian theology had an in-built tendency to encourage us to move "from darkness to light" which may increase the risk that we will not be open to the more surprising places where God can be found. In bringing the day towards its end Stephen told the story of Professor John Hull, who had experienced the onset of physical blindness. This influenced his struggle with his image of God and the references to blindness in the New Testament. To him, as a blind Christian, the New Testament was rather negative about blindness. John Hull suggests that Psalm 139: "O Lord, you have searched me out and known me etc." must have been written by a blind person! Verses 11 and 12 are particularly telling. Perhaps we can all be encouraged by the understanding that God is in both the darkness and the light, whatever time it may be, and whatever the circumstances. That promise seemed to be included, with much more, in our closing prayer. Keith Holt |
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